Divergent Trilogy Abridged
by sadnesseggxxx
Summary: A three chapter abridged version of Divergent. Incomplete


"ugh my life sux" mary sue said. smartass laffed.

"wuts so funny" mary sue asked.

"we gon get to leave tomorow" smartass said.

"oh" mary sue said. so then she went in to take THE TEST OF YO FUTURE.

"holy fucking shite" the wise mentor said. "ur speshul"

"IM SPESHUL?! ME?!" mary sue screamed. "O THATS COOL"

the wise mentor shook her hed. "but dat mean the opresive government is gon kill ya cunT"

"oh ok. still cool" mary sue said.

so then the ceremoni of choosing yo fuckin future happened.

"yall gotta choose. if u dont choose ur right fucked in the anus with a pointy object." bitchtits said.

" sounds kinky "mary sue asaid. "hm i wonder wut imma choose. da boring christians, da potheads, da dipartmint of motor vechiles, da nerds, or da ROCKSTARS."

then it was smartass's turn to chose.

"hmm my name is smartass. ill chose da nerds" he said. then he slit his wrists and poured the blood in some stuff or something like that and ran of to study the histery of anal sex.

"oh my god my brother who is smart chose to be with smart people. whart a noob" mary sue said. ten she chose DA ROCKSTARS.

"ok ceremoni over" bitchtits said.

then they all went to their new factions. mary sue had to jump off a fuckin train with cultural appropriation. then mary sue jumped into some tunel and probably died. except she didn't because generic love interest saved her with a fckin net or some shit like that.

"hi bitch whats ur fuckin name" generic love interest asked

"mrs whatevr ur last name is" mary sue said

then everyone else came down.

"ok welcum to EXTREMEKLAND how can i help ya" badass yelled as he ate the head off of a live bat.

"thats kinda gross" pussy said. he was a fat dude who smelled like wet dog and dirty assholes all the time somehow.

"ur a pussy go stand in front of that really cool targets that idk how we afforded to buy and let me stab u from afar with my badass powers"

" sounds kinky " pussy said. he then cried and listened to hawthorne heights and cut himself while he waited to be murdered by badass and his throwin knives of epicalness.

"ok thats not cool" mary sue said. she pushed pussy back into the crowd with her telekenisis and jumped in front of te target. generix love interest sliced her open but she surcvived.

"OH MY GOD HOW MUCH FOR A BLOWIE" pussy screamed.

"im not a prostituete..." maey sue sad.

"k" pussy said. then he got a spider tattoo to try not to be such a pussy and cried the entire time.

"wow that was cool" cultural appropriation said. she hugged mary sue. then white devil came to them.

"lets all be pals and not try to kill each other" white devil said.

"lol fuck dat shit ur pussies" mr douchebag said from his squad.

"ok time to play this game where we kill each other with guns" badass said

"REAL FUCKING GUNS?!" pussy screamed. he shit his pants.

"nope just lawn darts that feel like guns" generic love interest said.

"LAME" everyone said. even pussy who was terrified of his own shadow.

then generic love interest and mary sue ran off and had sex on the top of a ferris wheel.

meanwhile mr douchebag found eren jaegerbombastic and stabbed him in the eyeball with a dildoknife.

"this sucks" eren said. he ran away with his girlfriend and her phat ass.

"wel that didnt go over well with them. time ot put these fuckers in their worst nightmares" badass said.

"oh my god i can navigate through these." mary sue said. she used a magic dildo conjured in her mind or something to escape them all. she became cool in DA ROCKSTARS.

"u bunch of pussies this is how u shud behave" badass said to everyone. they groaned.

the next day mr douchebag and two motherfuckers grabbed mary sue and tried to throw her into a chasm.

"HEY ONE OF YOU SMELLS LIKE A STRAY DOG LICKING A 400 POUND MAN'S ASSHOLE. PUSSY?!" SCREAMED MARY SUE

"ya caught me sexy girl." pussy said.

then generic love interest punched them all in the nuts and they ran away crying.

"ARE YOU OKAY" sscreamed cultural appropriation and white devil at the same time. they were still spooning like they'd been in bed while this happened.

"yeah! generic love interest grabbed pussy, mr douchebag, and his butt buddy and punched them all in the nuts!"

" sounds kinky " white devil said.

pussy came back the next day.

"sorry 4 last night. so how much for a blowie mary sue" pussy asked

"go away nobody likes you!" white devil said. pussy ran away crying and killed himself but nobody cared.

generic love interest found mary sue and they made out in front of a bunch of peeps.

"ok time 4 a war" badass said. he injected his entire army with rubbing alcohol and they ran away and shot at the boring christians.

"we know ur secret" badass said as he tried to stuff mary sue into a bag.

"MOM!" mary sue screamed as badass and his bros tried to kill her.

"wut sweetie" mom said. "oh ur in trubles." she saved her and then ran into an alley.

"OH MY GOD WHO IS THAT SHOTTING AT US" mary sue said. then she saw it was white devil.

"WHITE DEVIL WHITE DEVIL STAHP IT! IM GONNA SHOOT YOU WITH HITLER'S LAWN DART IF U DONT FUCKING STAHP SHOTTING AT US!"

white devil was too busy playing call of duty in his fantasy world to respond and mary sue shot him in the brain.

"omg mom i shot white devil" mary sue said. then her mom died and she ran away to her dad and smartass.

"DAD AND SMARTASS WE NEED TO STOP THIS WHORE BITCHTITS AND THIS ASSHOLE BADASS WHO ARE CAUSING THIS"

"ok" dad said.

"hi you guys sound cool" abusive bitch said. he ran with them. "im generic love interest's proud dad"

"you sound like an asshole" mary sue said.

so they went to DA ROCKSTARS and found mr douchebag guarding the entrance.

"wtf do u guys want" mr douchebag said

"let us in or i will poop on you" mary sue said.

" sounds kinky " mr douchebag said. then mary sue shot him.

"ok fine" mr douchebag said, crying like a baby. he led them to bitchtits and badass's lair but they were ambushed and dad died. mary sue gave no fucks.

"HI BITCHTITS TIME FOR ME TO KILL U" mary sue said.

"nope" bitchtits said. then generic love interest jumped on mary sue.

"no! u got generic love interest!" mary sue screamed. "remember the sex we had on the ferris wheel. and how i could have given pussy a blowie but didnt"

"OH I KNOW YOU" generic love interest said. then they slapped bitchtits with rubber chickens until she fell down. they shut off the rubbing alcohol brain control.

"oh no my plan was foiled." bitchtits screamed. "guards get em"

they ran away and got on a train.

"hey today was sucky. time for the next installemnt! hopefully there's more gay sex in that book" generic love interest said.

they heard mr douchebag humping smartass in the next car over.

"we got that taken care of." mary sue said. she kissed generic love interest. "time 4 insurgent now"

 **tl;dr:** DYSTOPIAN FUTURE NOVEL #4295


End file.
